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Here's another Writers' Toolkit post that I used way back ten or more years ago on the WRITING echo. When I asked the Jennys Cherry Writers why exposition is a no-no, I got into trouble. Not so on ye olde Fido WRITING.
At 01:29 PM 10/8/2003 +0000, you wrote:
>What exactly do you consider Exposition? And why is it such a "no-no"?
"Good questions, Sgt. Exposition. Care to explain?"
"Of course. As you know, Detective Backstory, you and I have worked at the Slippery Rock Police Department for three years together as partners. And you remember last week when we stopped those evil doughnut thieves outside Don Quinn's doughnut shop and recieved the Big-Time Good Guy awards to wear on our badges?"
"Yeah, Sarge. I do. But remember, the boss isn't really happy with us anyway, and so we're hoping we won't hear his voice crackling away on our radio any time soon. If the dispatcher, Molly--who is my cousin and is dating my roommate--calls us back to the station, we're in big-time doo-doo."
"Remind me, dear--what are we doing next?"
"Going for doughnuts. That's Doo-Ugh-Nuts."
...And so forth. That's an extreme example of dialogue misused as exposition and to tell backstory. What you want to do--since the reader prolly needs to hear this stuff or become aware of some of it--is to either show what you can of it, or dribble those details in and work them in among events. Exposition through dialogue has got to be kept subtle and in the midst of interesting stuff. You have to have a light touch. For example:
The dispatcher's voice crackled as the radio came alive. "Cousin Ernie, the chief needs to see y'all two. He says right away."
Sergeant Exposition nearly spilled his coffee. "#*$&#@," he muttered under his breath as his partner turned the squad car around to head back to the station. "Why does he have a problem with us? We're doing our jobs."
"Politics," said Detective Backstory. "Hate 'em. Anyway, answer her."
"Why me?"
"She's _your_ cousin. Or do you want your roommate on the warpath after she gets through telling him what a jerk you were all day at work?"
Sgt. Exposition picked up the mike. "That's a ten-four, cuz. We're heading in. By the way, heard anything on the doughnut case? Have they decided to pursue it, or did old Jeb drop the charges?"
"Haven't heard. See you in a minute."
"Over and out." He sighed. "Slippery Rock used to be such a quiet little tow--"
"Give it a rest," his partner said. "Spare me. Can we talk about something else?"
"O-quay. Want cake or glazed? Sprinkles or no sprinkles?" He pulled into the GoodMorningNuts parking lot.
And so forth. That's all off the cuff, so it's a mess, but you get the idea. If you can work in a paragraph or two of explanation, more the better, but usually you can only get a line or three in over the course of some type of action.
You don't want to have lots of meaningless action just so you can have places to sprinkle in these lines, though. I did *that* when I was learning how to not have a block of coredump text up front. Crit partners would say, "You mention Herbie here. Who is he?" So I'd go insert a line about that. The next time someone read it, they'd comment on that line ('cause it was outta place, but all the reader knew was it was odd.) So I would add three paras on Herbie and where he went to school and his blood type and what he wanted for Christmas. This led to the opening of the book being ruined, completely ruined, I tell you, and after a few "fixes" like this, I'd end up scrapping the story. Most of those books could be repaired for real by deleting the bulk of the first couple of chapters (although I usually kept my opening hooks.) Live & learn.
At 01:29 PM 10/8/2003 +0000, you wrote:
>What exactly do you consider Exposition? And why is it such a "no-no"?
"Good questions, Sgt. Exposition. Care to explain?"
"Of course. As you know, Detective Backstory, you and I have worked at the Slippery Rock Police Department for three years together as partners. And you remember last week when we stopped those evil doughnut thieves outside Don Quinn's doughnut shop and recieved the Big-Time Good Guy awards to wear on our badges?"
"Yeah, Sarge. I do. But remember, the boss isn't really happy with us anyway, and so we're hoping we won't hear his voice crackling away on our radio any time soon. If the dispatcher, Molly--who is my cousin and is dating my roommate--calls us back to the station, we're in big-time doo-doo."
"Remind me, dear--what are we doing next?"
"Going for doughnuts. That's Doo-Ugh-Nuts."
...And so forth. That's an extreme example of dialogue misused as exposition and to tell backstory. What you want to do--since the reader prolly needs to hear this stuff or become aware of some of it--is to either show what you can of it, or dribble those details in and work them in among events. Exposition through dialogue has got to be kept subtle and in the midst of interesting stuff. You have to have a light touch. For example:
The dispatcher's voice crackled as the radio came alive. "Cousin Ernie, the chief needs to see y'all two. He says right away."
Sergeant Exposition nearly spilled his coffee. "#*$&#@," he muttered under his breath as his partner turned the squad car around to head back to the station. "Why does he have a problem with us? We're doing our jobs."
"Politics," said Detective Backstory. "Hate 'em. Anyway, answer her."
"Why me?"
"She's _your_ cousin. Or do you want your roommate on the warpath after she gets through telling him what a jerk you were all day at work?"
Sgt. Exposition picked up the mike. "That's a ten-four, cuz. We're heading in. By the way, heard anything on the doughnut case? Have they decided to pursue it, or did old Jeb drop the charges?"
"Haven't heard. See you in a minute."
"Over and out." He sighed. "Slippery Rock used to be such a quiet little tow--"
"Give it a rest," his partner said. "Spare me. Can we talk about something else?"
"O-quay. Want cake or glazed? Sprinkles or no sprinkles?" He pulled into the GoodMorningNuts parking lot.
And so forth. That's all off the cuff, so it's a mess, but you get the idea. If you can work in a paragraph or two of explanation, more the better, but usually you can only get a line or three in over the course of some type of action.
You don't want to have lots of meaningless action just so you can have places to sprinkle in these lines, though. I did *that* when I was learning how to not have a block of coredump text up front. Crit partners would say, "You mention Herbie here. Who is he?" So I'd go insert a line about that. The next time someone read it, they'd comment on that line ('cause it was outta place, but all the reader knew was it was odd.) So I would add three paras on Herbie and where he went to school and his blood type and what he wanted for Christmas. This led to the opening of the book being ruined, completely ruined, I tell you, and after a few "fixes" like this, I'd end up scrapping the story. Most of those books could be repaired for real by deleting the bulk of the first couple of chapters (although I usually kept my opening hooks.) Live & learn.
