I am not sure how this discussion turned toward your style *as a novelist* when the only thing critiques was your *query*. It seems to me that the critiquer told you your query was twice as long as it needed to be, *and also* that many of the details you provided weren't effective ones. It sounds like you could easily cut back the query to the expected length, using the summary you provided in the comments on her blog (which she said was a fine and effective short summary.)
By the time she was critiquing your details, she seemed to be working on helping with your future synopsis, which *will* need details. Effective, on-point details.
Do yourself a favour and don't turn this into a battle over your "voice." A query letter is a query letter. I'm a natural essayist myself, but if an exam asked me to provide a short-essay response of 300 words or less, I just did it, and collected the marks. (And as a wordy writer who needs to get submitting this year, I read that whole thread with great interest, because every flaw in your query is apt to turn up in one of mine!)
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2011-01-03 03:07 pm (UTC)By the time she was critiquing your details, she seemed to be working on helping with your future synopsis, which *will* need details. Effective, on-point details.
Do yourself a favour and don't turn this into a battle over your "voice." A query letter is a query letter. I'm a natural essayist myself, but if an exam asked me to provide a short-essay response of 300 words or less, I just did it, and collected the marks. (And as a wordy writer who needs to get submitting this year, I read that whole thread with great interest, because every flaw in your query is apt to turn up in one of mine!)
Good luck in 2011!