Jokes no one understands

[shalanna]

So you never "got" the "no soap radio" joke? Finally, an explanation.

(If you haven't heard that one: Two penguins are in a bathtub. One asks the other, "Pass the soap." The other replies, "No soap--radio.")

(I heard a variation that begins, "Two strawberries are floating in a tub of yogurt. One asks the other, "Pass the Splenda." The other says, "No Splenda--Stevia." But that one is even more looney-tunes.)

This leads to other nonsensical jokes.

Q. How many Mensans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Mensans, HA! They're so smart and they think they can fit into a little bitty lightbulb?

Or the surrealist:

Q. How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Fish.

But I like this one that I just made up:
Q. How many cows does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Mu.*

Now, THAT'S funny!
* [_Mu_ is reputedly the proper response to an unanswerable Zen koan.]

Comments

[dsgood.livejournal.com]

How many Marxists does it take to change a lightbulb?

None; the lightbulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

How many Libertarians does it take to change a lightbulb?

None. The Invisible Hand will take care of it.

[ithildae.livejournal.com]

I love lightbulb jokes! I have about 20 on tap at any given point in time (Approximately five times the average listener's tolerance.) Unfortunately, they all make some sort of sense.

How about:

Q: What's the difference between a duck?
A: On leg are(is) both the same.

Q: What did one duck say to the other duck?
A: ...
Q: Social Security. ... Do you get it?
A: [no]
Q: You will when you are 65.

I've got a great new knock-knock for you. You start! (This is one of my favorites!)

We are from the Minnesota non-sequiteur society. We may not make sense, but we sure do love pizza.

When you were a child at school, did you walk to school, or did you bring your lunch?

A peanut is neither a pea, nor a nut, nevertheless, I had pancakes for breakfast.

Another great source is AYPWIP's (Are You Pondering What I'm Pondering?)

Oh well, that is just off the top of my head, let us leave the rest lie in peace, no sense disturbing it once you have seen the best stuff.

[coneycat.livejournal.com]

Q: How many librarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, but I can look it up for you.

(I guess only librarians find that one funny.)

[ladyjaguar.livejournal.com]

Q: How many librarians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: I don't know, but I can look it up for you.

(I guess only librarians find that one funny.)

Yes. (I was a librarian)

When I was a kid, we told "little moron" jokes. Like: Why did the little moron tiptoe past the medicine cabinet? Because he didn't want to wake the sleeping pills. (pretty lame, I know, but it was the 1950s, what do you want?)

Better: The little moron thought asphalt was rectum trouble.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Sam and Janet.
Sam and Janet who?
Sam and Janet Evening.

(Only funny if you know your Rogers & Hammerstein . . .)

A variation on one already posted:

How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?
Four -- three to hold the zebra and one to fill the bathtub with brightly-colored power tools.

How many Californians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Four -- one to change the bulb, and the other three to lay back and experience it.

And harking back to incidents in Florida's dark past:
How many Floridians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Two -- one to change the bulb and one to shoot the tourist.

And on that note . . .