It's up to you, New York, New York

[shalanna]

I spent Friday night and part of Saturday making the changes in _Camille's Travels_ that the agent and I talked about on Friday. Today I "tweaked" the book a bit more and put fifty-three comments into the text (comment fields--they're kind of like footnotes) to show her where to look at the changes I've made. I used to have a "real" job as a software engineer and product staff member, and I used this feature all the time to show all my managers and software people when I modified the spec documents. I put a comment in the text at every point where (1) the agent made a comment in the original text, or (2) I made changes in response to what we discussed by phone.

All of these changes improve the book, IMHO. Whether we end up working together or not, I owe the agent a debt of gratitude for the helpful high-level insights. I prefer the book without the character having to sleep with those two guys, but after all I had been told about "sex sells" and needing sex scenes (and this was by agents and editors as well as writers!), I felt that I should do it. I don't miss the few lines I had to take out.

I gotta lotta advice about this endeavor, too.

Advice so far:

Mama: "I told you Aunt1 and I didn't like 'Dabney.' We told you to change that. It's too hicky. How about . . . George? Walter? Dexter?"

George: destined to be unpopular name for a while because of the President.
Walter: not very of-the-moment, either.
Dexter: too much like "Poindexter," who was a nerd in my day

Justin, Joshua/Josh, etc. would be better. Old Testament prophets/judges' names seem to be popular at the moment. I went with the agent's suggestion of Lance, despite the problem of Lance Bass (of N'Sync) having reportedly come out the other day. (And this guy is one of our romantic interests.)

"Well, don't pick weirdo names and spell them funny next time!"

Hubby: "Why did you say you had ANY reservations about it being a YA?! You should have said you didn't care if it was marketed to left-handed Republican Druids!! Who gives a crud! She's the one who knows how to sell, so let her do the job!"

True. When will I ever learn to keep my big mouth shut? When will I ever learn that we are not Close Personal Friends with everybody who seems nice enough on the phone? When, indeed.

Anyway, now I wait. I also sent along the openings to five of my other completed novels, so maybe the agent will read those, as well. We agreed that another phone call would come next Friday . . . I trust that this will happen. I've revised to editorial direction, I made the deadline that I suggested, and I can't see any business reason that she'd say I haven't done this thing right. I can only hope that I don't hear the Sounds of Silence from here on in.
^ @ @ ^
More snappy retorts to common sitcom lines of plug-in dialogue:

Onscreen: "You took the only thing I ever loved!"
Heckler: "What, this balloon? You can have it bac--whoops."

Onscreen: "I cannot accept such a lavish gift."
Heckler: "Well, you'd better, because JCPenney doesn't take returns on personalized diamond-encrusted crossbows, so it's either you keep it or I find another boyfriend with the same initials."
^ @ @ ^

"A Grace for Ice-Cream"
by Allan M. Laing

For water-ices, cheap but good,
That find us in a thirsty mood;
For ices made of milk or cream
That slip down smoothly as a dream;
For cornets, sandwiches and pies
That make the gastric juices rise;
For ices bought in little shops
Or at the kerb from him who stops;
For chanting of the sweet refrain:
"Vanilla, strawberry or plain?"
We thank Thee, Lord, who sendst with heat
This cool deliciousness to eat.

from "Eat, Drink, and Be Merry," edited by Peter Washington; via Barb Jernigan on the BardRoom echo

Comments

[marybethkelsey.livejournal.com]

Hope it works out for you. I'm impressed with your speed, as I am soooo very slow.

[dpeterfreund.livejournal.com]

Dexter makes me think of Cary Grant in Philadelphia Sotry. SOOOOOOO not nerdy.

George is the name of the drop dead heartbreaker in my first (and second) novel. So I'm a bit biased.

I don't think anyone really thinks of Lance Bass when they think of "Lance." I think more likely, Lance Armstrong. Another "good."

David works, too.