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shalanna(Yes, I know that Mr. Ellison is a Jew, and it's a toss-up as to whether he'd appreciate my quoting that . . . although I'm sure he's aware of the entire Bible as literature . . . yet the sentiment somehow fits.)
I'm linking to Harlan Ellison's public apology/contrition statement. You'll have to scroll down or do a "find on this page" function in your browser to find the response that he posted about his childish stunt at Worldcon. I think he really IS a bit daunted and didn't think this through, and even though the apology probably won't make any difference to those who are upset by The Principle Of The Thing, well, there it is--he said something. Perhaps not enough. For some people, nothing he could say would be enough. They'll think he's got too much of a mocking tone in the apology (I see it as the usual self-deprecating humor you've got to insert whenever you're publicly excoriating yourself). Still, he said something.
http://harlanellison.com/heboard/unca.htm
I realize that groping is indefensible (I said before that I even hate it when Hubby passes by when I'm working in the kitchen and pats me on the butt--which he does just to irritate me, and he knows this, but I still ignore it instead of smacking him, and when I was a teenager, I would have been FLATTERED if someone had done that, so our feelings change as we smarten up.) And I do hate being put in the position of having to defend someone--or feeling that I should speak up on his behalf--because it DOES make me into some sort of apologist, and it might make it look as if I think pinching and squeezing and so forth is OK. And I really don't. It's about respect . . . it's about boundaries . . . it's about Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You (um, except if I want Val Kilmer to lustfully attack me, I don't get a free pass to attack him, unfortunately.) I'm just aware that this stuff does happen, and it's not the end of the world, and we wish people's hearts would change such that they wouldn't DO this any more, but mistakes DO happen. It's just a fact of life. Screw-ups are one way that we learn. ("Education is the jockey; experience is the horse," as Clark Gable's character says in the movie "Teacher's Pet.")
I know Harlan Ellison to be a basically good and well-meaning and smart person, and yet this doesn't mean he can be perfect all the time. We all screw up. We all make mistakes, of different sizes, all the time. "For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God."
Let me tell you a story. Several stories. Well, maybe you don't want to hear the details. There have been times I've hurt somebody's feelings. A couple of times in teenhood, I was told what to do by my mother, who was using 1940s mentality to cope with 1970s situations, and the result was that I acted like a jackass. [I *still* wish that I had managed NOT to break up with Ann (my ex-best-friend whom I still miss even after 30 years) over that stupid two-timing boy, for example.] After college, I lost two very important friendships when I handled situations unwisely. Once the word is spoken, it cannot be unspoken. These are things that "seemed OK to do at the time," but were not. Did I learn? Yes. Could I apologize? No, not really. It was just . . . a mistake that couldn't be rectified. I mean, in each situation I *did* apologize, but it didn't matter. The page had been turned. The stupidity had been committed.
I think that's what we're looking at here. I don't think there's any merit in carrying on about lawsuits, or how someone should knee guys in the nuts if they look like they're about to touch you (which just takes you down to their level, as Mema would say), or circulating petitions to have people spanked, etc. That's just the big hoo-ha that people always like to make whenever they see the chance, and that stuff will die down when the next gossipworthy event takes place. We mustn't trivialize the event because we don't want to set a precedent for dismissive treatment of women, but on the other hand we don't want to make more of it than just (as H. E. said) a childish stunt that was ill-thought-out and stupid. Everyone enjoys a good pile-on, but this isn't a plagiarism scandal that is complicated, but just a boo-boo done by someone who just didn't realize--or had a Senior Moment, which is what I'm betting on. I see that a lot, even in younger people.
(And I seem to recall that during the various recent plagiarism scandals, I was in the minority when I said that it was always wrong and that I didn't buy that someone could "accidentally" copy fifty passages out of three other books verbatim, and I got yelled at by people who said I was just jealous that the authors were getting published. I kept saying that it's about the plagiarism. But people wanted to gloss that over and say it was OK. Many more are involved in this outcry. Theft of intellectual property--worse than a male-chauvinist-pig moment in public? Hmm. *I* think so, but then that's me again.)
This is why I sit at home and write, creating my own versions of the world (or other worlds) in which I control everything that happens and everything that the characters do. This is why I'm an introvert. This is why I don't try to go out and cope with groups of people all the time. It's tough to deal with people. It's fun to deal with ideas.
Ideas don't get their feelings hurt.
(Well, there *was* that incident with that book by Kierkegaard. But we've got to leave the past behind. . . .)
I'm linking to Harlan Ellison's public apology/contrition statement. You'll have to scroll down or do a "find on this page" function in your browser to find the response that he posted about his childish stunt at Worldcon. I think he really IS a bit daunted and didn't think this through, and even though the apology probably won't make any difference to those who are upset by The Principle Of The Thing, well, there it is--he said something. Perhaps not enough. For some people, nothing he could say would be enough. They'll think he's got too much of a mocking tone in the apology (I see it as the usual self-deprecating humor you've got to insert whenever you're publicly excoriating yourself). Still, he said something.
http://harlanellison.com/heboard/unca.htm
I realize that groping is indefensible (I said before that I even hate it when Hubby passes by when I'm working in the kitchen and pats me on the butt--which he does just to irritate me, and he knows this, but I still ignore it instead of smacking him, and when I was a teenager, I would have been FLATTERED if someone had done that, so our feelings change as we smarten up.) And I do hate being put in the position of having to defend someone--or feeling that I should speak up on his behalf--because it DOES make me into some sort of apologist, and it might make it look as if I think pinching and squeezing and so forth is OK. And I really don't. It's about respect . . . it's about boundaries . . . it's about Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You (um, except if I want Val Kilmer to lustfully attack me, I don't get a free pass to attack him, unfortunately.) I'm just aware that this stuff does happen, and it's not the end of the world, and we wish people's hearts would change such that they wouldn't DO this any more, but mistakes DO happen. It's just a fact of life. Screw-ups are one way that we learn. ("Education is the jockey; experience is the horse," as Clark Gable's character says in the movie "Teacher's Pet.")
I know Harlan Ellison to be a basically good and well-meaning and smart person, and yet this doesn't mean he can be perfect all the time. We all screw up. We all make mistakes, of different sizes, all the time. "For all have sinned, and fall short of the glory of God."
Let me tell you a story. Several stories. Well, maybe you don't want to hear the details. There have been times I've hurt somebody's feelings. A couple of times in teenhood, I was told what to do by my mother, who was using 1940s mentality to cope with 1970s situations, and the result was that I acted like a jackass. [I *still* wish that I had managed NOT to break up with Ann (my ex-best-friend whom I still miss even after 30 years) over that stupid two-timing boy, for example.] After college, I lost two very important friendships when I handled situations unwisely. Once the word is spoken, it cannot be unspoken. These are things that "seemed OK to do at the time," but were not. Did I learn? Yes. Could I apologize? No, not really. It was just . . . a mistake that couldn't be rectified. I mean, in each situation I *did* apologize, but it didn't matter. The page had been turned. The stupidity had been committed.
I think that's what we're looking at here. I don't think there's any merit in carrying on about lawsuits, or how someone should knee guys in the nuts if they look like they're about to touch you (which just takes you down to their level, as Mema would say), or circulating petitions to have people spanked, etc. That's just the big hoo-ha that people always like to make whenever they see the chance, and that stuff will die down when the next gossipworthy event takes place. We mustn't trivialize the event because we don't want to set a precedent for dismissive treatment of women, but on the other hand we don't want to make more of it than just (as H. E. said) a childish stunt that was ill-thought-out and stupid. Everyone enjoys a good pile-on, but this isn't a plagiarism scandal that is complicated, but just a boo-boo done by someone who just didn't realize--or had a Senior Moment, which is what I'm betting on. I see that a lot, even in younger people.
(And I seem to recall that during the various recent plagiarism scandals, I was in the minority when I said that it was always wrong and that I didn't buy that someone could "accidentally" copy fifty passages out of three other books verbatim, and I got yelled at by people who said I was just jealous that the authors were getting published. I kept saying that it's about the plagiarism. But people wanted to gloss that over and say it was OK. Many more are involved in this outcry. Theft of intellectual property--worse than a male-chauvinist-pig moment in public? Hmm. *I* think so, but then that's me again.)
This is why I sit at home and write, creating my own versions of the world (or other worlds) in which I control everything that happens and everything that the characters do. This is why I'm an introvert. This is why I don't try to go out and cope with groups of people all the time. It's tough to deal with people. It's fun to deal with ideas.
Ideas don't get their feelings hurt.
(Well, there *was* that incident with that book by Kierkegaard. But we've got to leave the past behind. . . .)
