Vote--being a pest, or coming across as my true self?

[shalanna]

I need to take a straw poll here. Anybody here a strawman? (Yuk-yuk) (Oops, recent Jerry Lewis influence.)

Someone kindly suggested, over here on a thread into which I inserted my whiny self on agent Arcaedia's journal, that a handwritten thank-you note to the agent whom I've been hoping to hear back from might be in order. I checked, and the poster is not my uber-proper Aunt Fannie Belle (etiquette ruler of Grayson County, Texas), so maybe this suggestion is reasonable. I mean, it sounds reasonable to ME, but I don't want to come across as a mewling, puking, sniveling sycophant who is writing the note ONLY in hopes of getting some kind of response from the agent. (I haven't gotten any replies to e-mail so far, and I already sent one missive thanking her for the suggestions and saying that her suggestions improved the book, and that even if we don't end up working together, I appreciate it.)

So . . . what do you think? How would a simple, handwritten thank-you note snailmailed to the agency address come across to you? Nauseating, or nice? Assuming, of course, that all I say is that I wanted to thank the agent for her time and assistance, and reiterating that I believe her suggestions improved the book. It's very rare that I have ever gotten candid and helpful comments from a pro. I do appreciate the insights. (And I do think this improved the book, in terms of salability AND in terms of Art. Anytime someone makes a contribution to improving art is cause for celebration.)

I don't want to look like a M. P. S. S. (mewling, puking, sniveling sycophant), but then if I get a thank-you note from someone, I usually don't try to read ulterior motives into it. And I sincerely *don't* have an agenda past trying to clear the air and tie up the contact in some kind of "closure" sense. I don't expect that this will make her turn around and suddenly realize that she meant to call me, or whatever. And if y'all think that this will look like Just Another Ploy on the part of some writer who's completely insincere and is just doing it to try to curry favor, then I won't do it. Readers of this journal surely know by now that I don't even try to curry favor because I'm the WORST person in the world at sucking up. I simply can't do it, and I'm prone to blow up and do a sarcasm act instead.

I'm kinda like Kinky Friedman in that regard. (Have you seen this weblog, in which people complain about the Kinkster's humorous remarks and comebacks, and even try to interpret them seriously? He says that he's a compassionate redneck, not strictly liberal or conservative, and he uses a lot of wit and satire when he answers the typical political questions in interviews--and that apparently daunts people. For example, I think it's hilarious that he said that stuff that got them all bent outta shape.* But half the world has a stick up the rumpus and gets all bent outta shape if you're not always completely Serious and Preacher-Hair-Wearing. For goodness' sake, the generally agreed-with Making Light links to this blog with the phrase "Kinky Friedman: No Hero." Eep! I can't believe they don't GET him. But then they ain't Texans, and we have to make allowances for them not gettin' some of our eccentricities.)

* [The Kinkster said he wanted the Ten Commandments and nondenominational prayer put back into schools. "If you don't love Jesus, go to hell," he added. Note that he's Jewish!! Note that this is a witticism!! Please, people, get a clue! Now, I can't see how nondenominational prayer could hurt schools any more than school shootings/lockdowns and violence and dumbing-down of curriculum already has . . . because, after all, as long as there are EXAMS, there is going to be PRAYER. *GRIN* Seriously, folks, he was yankin' the interviewer's chain.

He told conservative TV commentator Bill O'Reilly last year that he would "seal the border" against illegal immigrants by bringing in the "National Guard, the Texas Rangers, the entire Polish Army, whatever it takes." "Good fences make good neighbors," he added.

Guys!! That is a quotation from Robert Frost's poem "Mending Wall," which is actually about just the opposite--that good fences don't make good neighbors, and the poem is actually about "something there is that doesn't love a wall." But then the Deep Hidden Inner Meaning of the poem must be getting lost on some of these politicos. Sheesh. He was obviously exaggerating to Bill-o.

More recently, as quoted in the Dallas Morning News, Friedman said, "My immigration policy is 'Remember the Alamo.'"

Now, if you don't think THAT'S funny, there's something wrong somewhere. . . . Maybe it's a native Texan thing.]

Comments

[sclerotic-rings.livejournal.com]

As a fellow Kinky supporter, I'm not surprised that the Haydens didn't get it: this implies having a sense of humor that doesn't involve pointing.

[shalanna.livejournal.com]

Now, now. . . .

Everyone's got a different sense of humor. Texans, I think, have a higher tolerance for eccentric characters. Why, I'll betcha we love our eccentric weirdos as much as England loves *theirs*.

The Kinkster doesn't expect to win. In fact, if I understand correctly, he wasn't the one who came up with the idea of his candidacy. Still, I do wish he could win, and I'll be voting for him. After all, how could one do WORSE than the people we have had in the Gov's office for the last bunch-of-years, since Ann Richards left the office? (GRIN)

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

A tough question...my instinctive reaction is that a thank you note now, before questions have resolved, might seem like an unsubtle hint, no matter how nice the package.

My second instinct would be to send the note once the business is completed, whether she takes you on or not. You could still thank her for her time and expertise, etc.

[shalanna.livejournal.com]

I think you've got it exactly right. I'll probably send a note after whatever decision has been made, or after three more months of not hearing, whichever comes first. I do think that her suggestions improved the depth of the book; she had me re-insert some of the backstory for two of the minor characters, stuff I had taken out in response to critique partners of the past who wanted me to "hurry up and don't put in all that thinking." I rethought some of Camille's backstory to make the book more current (such as making her dad die in Iraq as a called-up reservist, rather than in the Murrah building bombing in OKC. That just tells you how LONG AGO I originally wrote the first draft of this manuscript and how long I have lived with the story and the character. . . .)

And I am afraid that anything I do would be seen as an obnoxious little hint, and that'd torpedo things. I know that the person who suggested it means well, but maybe she/he isn't as old and world-aware as, um, me. . . . *grin*

Thank you for giving me your advice!

[ithildae.livejournal.com]

Because things have an "up in the air" feeling, and you have postponed it, a letter now is probably not in order.

OTOH, a hand written (legible, problem for me until I learned to calig) is a very classy thing to do, always. A nice, sincere thank you, with wax seal and the works can take the sting out of almost any encounter. (I just like playing with fire.) By all means, send a nice thank you when you feel things are done.

[shalanna.livejournal.com]

I think you're right. I do want to thank her later, if the worst happens, though . . . and I still have my old wax seals (my initials, a cat, and the Pisces fish) left over from their height of popularity sometime in the 1970s! I do calligraphy, but it's more of a freehand thing--that's something to consider. I also make my own thank-you notes by rubberstamping and watercoloring. I might just use a plain white SMU-graduate-suitable card, though. I just don't want it to sound insincere, so I think the longer I wait (within reason), the more likely it is that she'll read it without inserting a subtext or concluding that it's done solely with an ulterior motive.

Thank you for giving me your advice!

[tnh.livejournal.com]

Dang. That's twice this week I've been told I don't have a sense of humor. Sorry about the Kinky Friedman thing, but from this distance, without the live audio channel, it's impossible to tell him joking from someone who's lost his mind and gone right-wing.

Are you sure all his other hearers are taking it the way you recommend? My mom in Arizona tells me all kinds of people there who should know better are falling for that "we're being invaded" thing, even though they're living in a place where looking out their windows ought to be enough to tell them it isn't so. I don't think they'd take "My immigration policy is 'Remember the Alamo!'" as ironically as you do.

the Kinkster . . . serious, or all a game to him?

[shalanna.livejournal.com]

Now, now . . . I never said you didn't have a sense of humor. Those other people are wrong. Your sense of humor is just different from ours! (I understand and accept that not everyone likes the same comedians I like. I just don't know what's WRONG with those people. *GRIN*)

The thing with the Kinkster--and I realize now that y'all probably haven't seen him on all the local talk shows and making the talk-circuit, although we have down here in Texas--is that he doesn't expect to win. Other people basically did all the stuff required to get him on the ballot (as I understand it) and he agreed to run, but without a real expectation of winning. He's droll and has a certain kind of wit. It's like my grandfather Gant's wit, so I kind of click onto it. He's chomping on that cigar and wearing that worn-out hat (an Icky Twerp hat from "Slam Bang Theater," for those who used to watch Superstation Channel 11 in childhood) and making these pronouncements . . . partly just to yank people's chains. His band (Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys) played in Dallas recently, and every song was just hilarious--think Weird Al.

The "invasion" deal--well, my take on it is that Kinky is playing with those warnings from Pat Buchanan and others, and making it into a schtick. Again, this is his idea of funny. I don't know why, but Mama and I just fell out laughing when he said, "Remember the Alamo!" It must be a Texas thing. One of my best friends is an officer in the Daughters of the Republic of Texas, which is the organization that takes care of the Alamo. (They used to OWN it, but they recently gave it to the state with the provsion that they still have the keys and do all the supervision and docent duties.) Texans and the Alamo . . . it's such an entrenched part of our culture that it lends itself to quips. In fact, when Katrina hit and Mexico sent a caravan up to San Antonio/Houston to help with relief, many of our TV commentators quipped, "It's the first time the Mexican army has marched through Texas since Santa Anna!"

At any rate . . . the problem with Kinky and his flippant attitude towards interviews is that we don't really KNOW his real position on some issues, unless we've gotten hold of his platform and position papers and so forth. I know such literature exists (though I haven't seen it yet), for I have a friend who's quite committed to trying to get him into office on the theory that he couldn't POSSIBLY be worse than Rick Perry and Dubya before him, who took off all the environmental controls and made Texas one of the most polluted *cough* states in the Union. But KF typically doesn't give a "straight" answer to many of the questions. If there's a candidates' debate, I hope he's more forthcoming and serious. I know that he's smart (he writes books, after all) and that he could probably handle the job (if Jesse Ventura made out okay in Minnesota. . . .) It remains to be seen whether there'll be a serious Q&A before election time, though. There needs to be one before I can feel confident voting for him. I think we need to do something about illegal immigration, for example, and what I need to hear is what he'd seriously try to do. He could not possibly be WORSE than many of the idiots we've put into the Gov's mansion, IMHO.

But for now, I feel that he's enjoying the spotlight and playing it for all it's worth. I'm sure he has sold more books because of it, too, which is no small feat. . . .

Re: the Kinkster . . . serious, or all a game to him?

[tnh.livejournal.com]

Do you by any chance think I'm a Yankee?

Re: the Kinkster . . . serious, or all a game to him?

[shalanna.livejournal.com]

Gosh . . . I have no idea. Hadn't thought about it. In the eyes of some, though, because you now live in NYC, you would be a de facto Yankee. A deserter who left the South--horrors! *GRIN* I hear that you can't tell if someone's a Yankee just by looking. *GRIN* I was just saying that the Texas culture sometimes doesn't make sense if you aren't currently immersed in it . . . I guess I'm soaking in it.

Speaking of Kinky, though, I just happened to catch him on TXCN. He took a more serious tone with the fellow he was talking to, and indicated that he'd like to debate on some of the issues, including immigration. Maybe he has decided he'd like to win, for real. He'd better, because it is looking more hopeful for him. I was surprised to hear from my husband at lunchtime that Hubby himself plans to vote Kinky. I thought I had married a staunch Democrat!

Thanks for replying!

[gwydi.livejournal.com]

Thankyou notes would only be sycophantic if you were sending them every time the agent so much as looked in your direction. I think it's like seasoning - a little goes a long way.

[shalanna.livejournal.com]

Right . . . it's a tough call, though.

I suppose it would be so much easier on everyone if books could be generated by software, as in Dennis Havens' novel, _Regards, B. T._ The software wouldn't care if you sent its latest masterpiece to the bit bucket!

Thanks for replying.

[mindyklasky.livejournal.com]

IMHO, thank you notes are perfect when someone has completed doing something for you. Since you are still in the middle of finding out whether you're going to be working with this agent, I think that a thank you note is premature.

*After* the agent has a chance to get back in touch with you, and you have a final verdict on whether this is going to be a long-term working relationship - that's the time to send a thank you note (regardless of the agent's actual decsion.

I know how hard it is to wait - it's very frustrating to have no power or control over another person's actions. Alas, we writers have to practice *endless* patience - waiting for agents, for editors, for publication...

OK, now you can ban me from your blog :-)

Mindy

Zap! *GRIN*

[shalanna.livejournal.com]

Nope, not going to risk losing a reader. I don't have many readers, after all . . . can't ban 'em just for saying something. ;) Pretty much what everyone else has said.