Ouch

[shalanna]

I had a full-fledged gallbladder attack on Friday night.

I didn't know what it was, though. I figured it might be nausea and vomiting from the antibiotic I'm on . . . or the new diuretic/blood pressure pill (I still think that's a weird combo). I'd had a bout with that the evening I came home from the doctor last week, too, so I figured it was a stomach bug.

But the pain never stopped. I never threw anything up, either--it was just retching (ick). The pain was in the general area under my breast on the left-hand side (and the gallbladder is on the RIGHT) and throughout my ribcage. But by Saturday at 5 AM, when it was localized where I think the heart is (and went through to my back), I decided to be safe. The doctor is always carrying on about how he worries I might have a stroke or TIA or whatnot (my blood pressure is still a bit high), so I figured, let's go to the ER. Hubby was very VERY sleepy, but he drove me over there.

They were doubtful from the beginning that it could be my heart, as I kept pointing to my stomach. That's because my entire digestive tract was aching and hurting. Still, I had high BP and an oxygen level of 95 with no lung problems, so they sent me back to the doctor. I got an IV with a bag of fluids, full blood work, and an EKG. I had a short bout of that dry heaves thing, which brought the resident in to say that the noise really carried, but nothing (again) came up. Then they sent me for a sonogram on that poor li'l gallbladder. Ouch! When she pressed, it was really painful. I think it's bruised today *Grin*.

The consensus was that I do have gallstones, but none of them are stuck or whatever. The gallbladder isn't irritated or enlarged and the wall isn't thickened. So they sent me home with instructions to eat VERY low-fat stuff and see my regular doctor to talk about it. If I keep having attacks, they'll talk surgery. (Aack!)

I'm already on a South Beach/Atkins sort of thing for one meal a day, and on protein drinks (Medifast) for five more. But last week we ran out of food and resorted to eating some sausages that Hubby gets on fine with--I put slices of them in my salads for three days running, saying that they were way too fatty, but that I knew they were fine on Atkins. That may have triggered this. (It was the Hillshire Farms CheddarWurst, of all things. Can you believe Hubs has no problem eating a plate of four of those with a side of black-eyed peas and keeps losing weight on his South Beach variant? It was prescribed by his cardiologist, of all things.)

But I ate nothing but sugar-free Jell-O and a couple of crackers yesterday, and those only so I could take my pills. I skipped the weird new BP drug and took the old one instead, because the resident said that particular pill takes a lot of getting used to, and if I'm already sick, feh.

I'm still on the docket for an MRI on Monday at 3:30 PM (sigh) for the vision thing and on general principles (I'm supposed to be scanned every three years just to make sure there are no changes, and I haven't done that because it's all too scary--yes, I know.) The ophthalmologist is the following Friday. They even want me to go to a podiatrist--although I explained several times that the problem is NOT on that end. I've ALWAYS had cracked heels. My doctor is just a perfectionist.

*sigh* This is the first time this weekend that I've felt able to come and post. I'm seeing the screen pretty well, though, so that's good. I'm sure I need to get my glasses changed. Maybe I'll get those crazy prisms. Or a special focal length set for the computer screen.

I'm falling apart! I think the best thing I can do for stress is to just abandon the intensive marketing for the books and all attempts to sell stuff and concentrate on the present moment and what needs to be done. At the beginning of last year, I swore that I would get a book into print by the end of the year or give it up . . . then I extended it to the end of THIS year . . . well, the attendant stress and constant ups and downs (when you get all excited and then get dumped) are wreaking havoc. I've neglected a lot of home maintenance, and I haven't seen my extended family or a lot of my friends for at least a year. No, really. I think it's time to pull back and take a vacation from the pipe dreams ("Nothing will ever come of it," so many have said, and I just need to accept that.) It's time for us to get a clean bill of health and THEN swing into action. First, I'm going to take my mother to see her sister (and I'll get to see the family as well), and then Hubs and I are going on a vacation. Then I'm going to come back and remodel/revamp this dump. I have a lot of stuff I just need to get rid of--clothes that I keep thinking I'll wear again or "diet down into," hobby stuff that just makes a mess and doesn't relieve any stress, books books BOOKS that I do not need to keep to re-read. I've got to get this yard cleaned up, and I'll have to supervise and ride them to get them to do everything that they need to do, as when you just hire people they do what they want and not what the city codes say you have to do. I can't do it by myself, but I can surely find someone who'll do it if I MAKE them and pay them.

I just hope I get that chance. It won't be a SECOND chance, as I've used that one up. I'm like the old cat Mehitabel in the _Archy and Mehitabel_ poems: I think I'm on at least life number eight. Wish me luck in making it to nine. The neighborhood integrity people will thank you!~

Comments

[sartorias.livejournal.com]

I don't see why you should give up your dreams. Maybe work on mitigating those highs and lows, if you can--those seem to stress you out. But not give up.

[scienceguru.livejournal.com]

First, icon love! I love the "Kenya" cartoon!

Second, the diuretic/bp combo pill...did your doc explain why they were prescribing the combo? I take a combination like that myself (have for 5 years now) and it was explained to me that the reason I was given a diuretic in addition was to protect my kidneys from the excess fluid volume I was processing due to my BP being high. Yay for functioning kidneys.

Hope all these medical woes are resolved for you soon.

[dennismhavens.livejournal.com]

Ordinarily I'd echo what Sartorias said, perhaps being a bit more verbose in doing so, but something tells me that this is not the time. As you know, I have a younger daughter who is diabetic, and recently I've found out a few things that I simply HAVE to take into consideration. As it turns out, she has not even come close to staying on her Diabetes meds . . . FOR EIGHT YEARS.

I can almost hear you screaming, "Is she out of her freakin' MIND?" And you'd have every right to do so. What can I say? Even if I'd been nearby, in Las Vegas, there would have been no way to get her back on her meds or her diet. From age 18 or so until she was past forty, she was addicted to meth, surely the last thing she needed to be hooked on. And then, when she FINALLY managed to get past that and get a decent job at a condo management company, she somehow managed to get a DUI, which cost her her realtor's license. She moved to Phoenix, because -- if she is to be believed -- she can work on her license in Arizona, whereas she couldn't in Nevada. Do I believe that? At this point, it's difficult. A DUI will cost you a realtor's license in Oklahoma. Would Arizona really be different?

Anyway, that's merely background. The point is, according to her and my granddaughter, that sometime in the past year she was diagnosed as bipolar by a Las Vegas therapist (I know, contradiction in terms). And except for some rather bizarre behavior, she supposedly was getting better, until the DUI and the need to move to Phoenix, where as far as I know she hasn't connected for a job yet. (She is with a new boyfriend, one whom her daughter can't stand.)

Still background. Pardon me if I sound a bit politically incorrect, but I think the original problem goes back to the eight years off her diabetes meds. Bipolar diagnoses are all the rage these days, and Vegas psychotherapists are not, to a large measure, the cream of the crop. Whether she actually is bipolar or not is, in my mind, a maybe-yes, maybe-no proposition. But the Diabetes is as real as can be...and for EIGHT YEARS she has been neglecting to treat it. It's my guess that after that long, she'd have a set of symptoms that would fit every mental and physical illness known to man or beast.

Not that I'm saying that you have practiced that kind of neglect -- or spent almost twenty years doing methamphetamine and God knows what else, including alcohol, to calm down the withdrawal symptoms of meth.

I think what I am saying is that maybe you have been sailing just a little close to the wind when it comes to your own treatment and general health. And I can't, in good conscience, encourage you to keep up a pace that you probably really can't maintain right now.

As for the double vision, I still think that's going to turn out to be minor. The blood pressure perhaps a little less so. How high is "a little high?" As we age, all those parameters change. How many major organs can withstand what your gallbladder just went through? I'm sure those sausages you ill-advisedly consumed were utterly delicious, but were they worth what followed? Compared to my daughter, who is only about six years younger than you, you are a paragon of discipline and rectitude. I cant swear to it, but I'll bet my daughter, during those eight years off her meds, ate whatever she felt like, or ate nothing at all, considering one of meth's better-known side effects. And now, thanks to that bipolar diagnosis, she's going to place all the blame on that, and the death of her mother 23 years ago. Sorry, but eight years off her diabetes meds sounds like a more likely culprit to me.

Anyway, since neither meth nor Scotch is part of your problem, I think this may be the time to put the books aside -- for the emotional toll not selling them seems to take -- and put your physical health at the top of your list. If there's what you feel is a mental component to this, the physical stabilization is going to go a LONG way towards putting you at ease that way, too.

Best of luck tomorrow, and with any other tests they foist off on you. Eat right, sleep right, and things are going to get better.

[heleninwales.livejournal.com]

I don't think you should necessarily give up your dreams, but perhaps you should take a holiday from the writing for a while -- or at least from the marketing side.

Take a break, get your health and the house in order and then see how you feel about the writing.

Hope you feel better soon.

[burningofroissy.livejournal.com]

Ack! Thinking of you *hugs, but gently so as not to rupture anything*

[dsgood.livejournal.com]

Sympathies, and good wishes for healing.

[cathschaffstump.livejournal.com]

Gall stuff sucks! Take care of yourself!

Catherine

[ithildae.livejournal.com]

Please do not give up on a dream, especially your dream! Please do take the time you need to get the stressors on your life minimized. Get your health in order. The yard work provides exercise. Spend time with the family. Spend time on your dream. There really is time to do it all. It just takes practice and effort.

I remember that Isaac Asimov said there are only two kinds of writers; those who bleed copiously and privately from a bad review (or rejection), and those who bleed copiously and publicly from a bad review (or rejection.) You are putting your heart and part of your soul on a page to be judged by other people. Any criticism stings. There is always room to get better. Find a coach or three that can help you tune your writing to the public tastes.

theferrett just got back from a six week Clarion workshop. He posted some tips that I thought were pretty good.

Don't give away your dream. Do add some balance to your life. I think that will make you much happier. Please get better soon. Prayers are with you.

(I know I sound like a commander, that is not my intention. I mean to be earnest and emphatic. That is why I am not working to be a writer. I can't seem to type things the way I actually say them.)

[bluemalibu.livejournal.com]

I just said a prayer for you
You take care of yourself

You need a stack of books, and someone to bring you soup, and a kitten to cheer you up
I am wishing you all those things :)

[pameladean]

The diuretic/other bp med combination is pretty standard, but that doesn't mean it will agree with you.

But speaking of agreement, I think you don't need to make some enormous commitment to give up your dream. Giving it a rest, and yourself one along with it, should be plenty in the short run.

P.