Is it worth trying . . . I know what you'll say, though

[shalanna]

That agent who told me I could send the mystery and Camille's story in August e-mailed me back yesterday to say I should send the stuff by snailmail and she would try to get to it. She's been convention-hopping all summer and went on vacation last month, so she's way behind.

So . . . I just promised myself and the Universe that I would dump this crazy book ambition if I could just be healed so that I could start fixing up this dump and taking care of necessities. I don't want to renege on that. But maybe this is a sign?

Or maybe it is a temptation.

I don't know . . . I hate to get back into the frenzy of submissions. On the other hand, this is just two partials to one agent I've already talked to. Maybe I could send it and forget about it.

Then again, it's not as if I need all the coping/happy endorphin stuff sucked out of my body with the wheezing Oreck of false hope. Earlier this year, I was so happy working on the Pundit novel. (Even though there were several of you who didn't like it, although one or two did.) I enjoyed watching what happened and listening to the banter between my Katherine Hepburn/Spencer Tracy/Greg Kinnear characters and the supporting cast (Eve Arden, Gracie Allen, Kathy Griffin from "My Life on the D-List," and Totie Fields from back before y'all were born.) And playing with the plot to put in some twists that I think are funny. I was happy . . . until I started sending out the partial and getting slammed to the ground by all those agents ("we don't DO stuff with any reference to terrorism," "we don't DO screwball romantic comedies," "I can't sell this") and the contest judges (who all complained that I didn't have Kay hurt enough when she sprained her ankle, yet when I added a couple of paragraphs where she admits to him that it hurts and he prods it gently and makes her gasp, they said, "We know he's going to help her--skip all that." You can't please 'em.) So the trouble is not with the writing. It's with the pleasing of others.

*I* would like to see how the Pundit story turns out. (Actually, I have the ending and the climactic scene with the mole and the evil turncoats already written. I have only to connect the first half of the book with the ending, and I know what I will do, but just got so discouraged with the "what's the use?" that I quit.)

Sending stuff out is a downer. It's like turning yourself into a low-hanging piñata. When you could just go happily on being nobody, which is your destiny. (And taking care of the elderly, and picking up after the fourteen-year-old kid who lives inside the hubby, and coping with the usual stuff of keeping the household [heh, "househole" typo as a Freudian slip] running.)

The apple is being offered. But is it poisoned?

[Poll #1247564]

*Fat princess is in another castle; please call back later*

Comments

[newport2newport.livejournal.com]

Oops! Clean up on aisle one, please. I meant to answer "Why not?" ("Yes, definitely" not being a poll option) on the first question, but it somehow got recorded as answer #2.

I'm always willing to give luck another shot. Preparation and opportunity make good partners, but only if you can get them into the same room together.

[pameladean]

Shalanna, I honestly don't think you will be happy if you aren't writing. The problem is the publication part. I think it ought to be easier to become less attached to that than to stop writing altogether. Not easy at ALL, but easier. And less violent to yourself.

I still think you'll make it one day, but I hate to see you making yourself so unhappy in the interim. It's not the writing, it's the res of it. Don't bury your talent. You know that doesn't do any good.

P.

[ithildae.livejournal.com]

Submit the story. Think of it as a reward for restoring some balance in your life.

[sosoclever.livejournal.com]

I dislike making deals with the universe and then reneging, but I will admit to doing similar things. And do you have a completely clean bill of health, anyway?

[walkertxkitty.livejournal.com]

I wanted to expand on my brief suggestion. I've been submitting things for over twenty years. I have literally hundreds of rejections. I've kept quite a few because they remind me that each time I submit, I get closer to getting something published. Some --- most, in the beginning --- were form rejections. Later I started getting personal notes and explanations. Some have been sent back with "we'd like to see this again, just finish it/clean it up" and I'm working on those.

Don't give up, unless it's no longer fun. Then and only then it might be time to hang up the pen.

Hello

[(Anonymous)]

I'm new here, just wanted to say hello and introduce myself.

[coneycat.livejournal.com]

Earlier this year, I was so happy working on the Pundit novel. ... I enjoyed watching what happened and listening to the banter between my Katherine Hepburn/Spencer Tracy/Greg Kinnear characters and the supporting cast ... And playing with the plot to put in some twists that I think are funny. I was happy . . .
*I* would like to see how the Pundit story turns out.

Is there any way you could stage a compromise with yourself and just let yourself write this one without worrying about sending it out? Speaking as someone who's really enjoying the story I am currently writing while being convinced it will never, ever be publishable. It might be less stressful if you give yourself permission to see this one through to the end without considering outside opinion at all. Just let it be you and the story again for a while, you know?

Just a thought.

[crinklequirk.livejournal.com]

I'd LOVE to read any story with those Pundit characters, if only to find out how they interact - and that's only reading what you've put up here.

If it includes half the humour and style you use writing your Journal, I know it'll be a fun read.

So write it without any outside deadline, and do it for you.

On the other hand, most of published writing involves a majority of rejection - which you well know - but say screw it, I'm sending out the snail mail because I can afford the postage, and I'll open the response when I'm ready. There will be a response, too.

You seem to want to be published, too, not just to write. I'm rather on the outside of this, but it the engagement in the process seems to make you happy even as it stresses you - perhaps you and I need the greater challenge despite the incumbent risk. I know the rest of your life is stressful - but . . . I don't have any proper answer, I guess. I'm still struggling with the entire "but what would happen if I didn't straighten up, tidy my affairs, get things in order and something dire happened? What about the kids, hubby, bird, house, family?" question. Yet, in some ways I'm not, since I work a little on getting things in order, and continue to strive towards the things I love and the things that challenge me, too. Could be I've already made my decision.

Maybe you have, too. :-)

[abbie-normal.livejournal.com]

if it brings you joy, if it brings you that little "frisson" of anticipation, do it. you've already experienced the "sorry, but...." only chance and serendipity can change that. that, and the "keep trying" factor. if you stop trying, you will never know. think of it as a hobby, like birdwatching. one may never actually find the "giraffe-striped absalom gibbit", but it is the search that makes the game, and the promise of "maybe" that keeps us listening for that elusive birdcall.

i will never write the great american novel. i will never paint the next rembrandt. i will never sew that baltimore quilt that will end up lauded in a museum--but even that knowledge doesn't stop me from trying. one never knows how the winds of change will blow, and maybe they will like my odd sketching style in the next century. maybe the quilt i made for my kid will end up on their kid's bed, and they will like it. and i know that the letters i used to send to my aunt and uncle were as well received as any great work of fiction would have been.

you need the words. they feed you, they fuel you. devil take the hindmost--do it, lady. find out how the pundit ends. or at least where it takes you!