Thoughts on gifting
Dec. 14th, 2005 10:54 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
shalannaWhile prowling the aisles of the Dollar General today in search of small shiny trinkets for our other doctor's children (we'll be dropping by there tomorrow to have him look at my mother's tongue--good thoughts and prayers on her behalf would be grand), I overheard the universal whine of the season.
"But I don't know WHAT to GET her/him!"
Okay, this is not the first time anyone's ever said that. But I'd like to make an observation. There are many kinds of people in the world . . . that's diversity for you. I am of the tribe who knows quite a lot about my friends and family. But most of the other flavors of people don't seem to know much PERSONAL info about even the people they are around all the time. And I find this odd.
Back when you were a teen, you and your best friend knew everything, I'm sure, especially if you're female. You knew her favorite color, her preferred foods, her mode of dressing, her secret mad crush, her favorite singer/actor, etc. She knew yours. It was no problem to buy for that person, except where money came into the picture. You couldn't, obviously, buy her a trip to the Cheap Trick concert in a faraway city, but simply KNOWING that she'd love this gift means you're in my camp insofar as knowing others.
Okay. So you would THINK that a person would know her own sister (or sister-in-law of twenty years) and what she collects, prefers, likes, etc. But no. It's very common to hear someone say, "I have NO idea what to get her," and to see that person default to The Swiss Colony cheese log for everyone on the list.
But really I'm talking about something deeper.
The first year hubby and I were married, I discovered that my sister-in-law collects Garfield (anything and everything), and she expects at least one Garfield for Christmas. Her parents had decided that year that she was too old (at twenty-one) to collect such things and had stopped getting her a yearly Garfield. I took on this mantle, and every year I have managed to find one or more Garfield items she didn't have. Last year it was the Chia Garfield that I found at Walgreens. The year before, it was a box containing a bunch of stuff off of eBay, including Pez dispensers, erasers, file folders, stuffed animals, and so forth. I also know her favorite color is blue and she wears a size XL in most knits and she loves show tunes, Barbra Streisand, and The Three Tenors. So what does she know about me? Nothing, you'd think . . . every year, I get a generic gift from her. Now, that's OK. I don't NEED more material items. It's fine if I just get a DVD of a film she likes or what-have-you. But is it wrong of me to always think it would be nice if she had ANY idea what I am like or what I like? Or if anyone did? (It's not as though I keep these things secret. It's just that it goes in one ear and leaks out the other, and/or people just don't give a flaming flying frell, which simply means they're the other kind of person--the kind who doesn't remember or notice things about other people. Or at least about me, which could be reasonable on their parts.)
There are people who have everything, but they don't need another tie. Surely there's something that interests your dad/uncle or aunt/cousin. One time I came across gimme caps reading "RV Pilot" and "RV Co-Pilot." They were about the same price as the amaryllis-in-a-basket that hubby wanted to get for his aunt and uncle, and went over with MUCH more hilarity and fun. They were a retired RV lifestyle couple, and I know they went around showing people those caps. But you don't have to limit yourself to gag gifts for your family and friends. Just use some imagination. How about a jigsaw puzzle of some scene that they've visited on vacation?
We have many used book stores around here. A good number of the books, hardcover or softcover, look as if they've never been read. If you know what your friend or relative likes to read (mysteries, fantasy/SF, cookbooks), you can go pick out a really great book off the clearance rack (many best-sellers end up on the clearance rack looking unread). Softcovers go for a dollar or two. Is that terrible of me to say that I'd buy someone a used book? Well . . . gnash away, because I have. Caveat: you DO have to flip carefully through the book to ensure there are no scribbles, inscriptions ("To Julie on her graduation"), underscores, marginal comments, et alia. And take out all those bookmarks and old receipts that are in some books. I often find books that are signed by the author turned in at Half Price Books here . . . an autographed copy apparently isn't that valuable. What kills me is when I run across one that's inscribed, "To Ernie on his 15th birthday from Grandma--Wishing you many hours of pleasure reading," or whatever. I could never turn in a book my grandmother had written to me in . . . and the alternative (that Ernie has joined his Gramma on the Other Side) is also grim. But usually you don't see too many of those. Look for books that seem virtually untouched. They're there.
Apparently I even *look like* a good gifter. I can be standing in a store and someone will turn to me (I must look quite approachable, and they're guessing right when they guess that I'll be someone who can give advice on just about any topic and boss them around when they need it--*grin*. Whether that advice is useful or not is a different matter) and ask, "Do you think this would be good for a twelve-year-old girl?" They're holding up a set of hair extensions or something. I quickly redirect them to the many and varied sets of toiletries and cosmetics packaged as "Hello Kitty" or "Heavy Metal Mama"--you know the stuff: it's a set of bath fizzies, shower gel, perfume, nail polish, nail clippers, barrettes, lip glosses you mix yourself, etc., all sharing the theme of the clueless cat or what-have-you, all packaged in a plastic carrying case for convenience. You just have to pick a cartoon character that the recipient likes, and you've personalized the gift. You can't really go far wrong there. And I don't even KNOW their kid. It doesn't seem that tough.
I don't expect everyone to be like me about this. But I can dream, can't I?
I know you can't spend a lot of money on each person, and I know you don't spend the year noticing things that would be perfect Christmas presents (though I often buy gifts in the spring and summer when they remind me of someone.) However, surely a gift-giver could come up with many options for a cheap ($1-$5) present based on a list of interests given by just about anybody. Ever heard of key chains, beanie babies, cute gadgets and mini games, yo-yos and mini Etch-a-Sketches (even for grown-ups), potholders in interesting designs, card decks of trivia questions, socks with Santas on them, tiny versions of the famous red Swingline stapler for a writer or office worker, a nutmeg grater for a cook, etc.? I see tons of stuff anytime I walk down the aisle at Wal-Mart. Cute little presents that are useful and not that expensive.
What do I mean? Even key chains can be found that are related to the person's interests. (I have piano-shaped key chains, one with a Pomeranian-shaped figurine, etc.) Beanie babies, ditto (get one that looks like the person's pet, and get an off brand or generic brand instead of the expensive ones.) As far as gadgets, try those "executive gifts." At Target this year, you can get a "headlight" for $5; it's a great guy gift. If you can't imagine what I mean, imagine a miner's hat without the hat. It's a budget version of the LED light ENTs sometimes wear on their foreheads secured by a strap and powered by AAA batteries. Guys use it when they don't have a free hand for the flashlight and need to work inside a computer or behind the TV stand to fix cables, etc.) You can get a Christmas ornament relating to almost any hobby. You might see something else that reminds you of that person or some inside private joke you have, such as a Tic-Tac-Toe set for a doodler. My point is that you can personalize a gift and it won't cost more than buying a generic thing such as a box of chocolate-covered cherries.
It does take some time, I suppose.
People also love gifts you make yourself. If you don't knit or sew and don't feel creative, you can still make a mix tape or CD. Bake 'em some cookies. Make a personalized Christmas ornament (get a box of clear or colored glass ball ornaments and Elmer's glue and some glitter; write the person's name on the ornament and dip it in the glitter, which works best if you spread it [the glitter] out in a clean cookie sheet first, and let dry; if you got a clear ornament, fill it with colorful confetti or curly ribbon curls. You can do "Chantal and Jerry/First Christmas Together 2005" or "Steffie's First Christmas 2005" ornaments, too.) Buy a cheap fake fur stocking and write his/her name on it in glitter the same way, and then stuff it with an orange, a gag gift like a jump rope, a little gift book, or whatever. I mean, there are options other than one of those cologne gift sets.
When my niece and nephew were young, we bought a dozen Little Golden Books and a package of blank cassettes at the dollar store. Then hubby and I both recorded a couple of the books, reading them aloud in a quiet room. When it's time to turn the page, you can ring a little bell or hit a spoon gently against a crystal glass (explain this at the beginning of the tape). If you are old enough to remember all those filmstrips in school, you know what I'm talking about. I have also been known to make coloring books for young children. You just take clip art that's outline-only (nothing TOO complex) and print it out. Or use any art rubber stamps you have (many of which are simple outlines) and make a few pages' worth of pictures. Then staple the pages together and add a box of crayons for a complete gift. (Back-to-school sales are great for $1 boxes of crayons.)
What's the point? I don't know. Just that I can't help feeling a little bit bad knowing that I am never in anyone's thoughts during the year. I get an awful lot of those cologne sets and boxes of chocolate-covered cherries. (We also recycle all fruitcakes. Been swappin' one for years.)
I ended up getting the doctor a "headlight" and each of his three young children a "jungle beanie" (like a beanie baby, but $1 at Target on sale) stuffed inside a tin pail (also on sale for $1 at Target) decorated with Santa and the reindeer. I hung three candy canes of various flavors/colors on the side of the pail and put on a curly ribbon. That didn't cost much or take much time. But it's sure to thrill a child to get a gift like that out of nowhere. And it didn't really "cost" me that much.
I'm working on a mix CD for certain other people in my life. Trying to decide which of my piano performances would bore them the least. *grin*
"But I don't know WHAT to GET her/him!"
Okay, this is not the first time anyone's ever said that. But I'd like to make an observation. There are many kinds of people in the world . . . that's diversity for you. I am of the tribe who knows quite a lot about my friends and family. But most of the other flavors of people don't seem to know much PERSONAL info about even the people they are around all the time. And I find this odd.
Back when you were a teen, you and your best friend knew everything, I'm sure, especially if you're female. You knew her favorite color, her preferred foods, her mode of dressing, her secret mad crush, her favorite singer/actor, etc. She knew yours. It was no problem to buy for that person, except where money came into the picture. You couldn't, obviously, buy her a trip to the Cheap Trick concert in a faraway city, but simply KNOWING that she'd love this gift means you're in my camp insofar as knowing others.
Okay. So you would THINK that a person would know her own sister (or sister-in-law of twenty years) and what she collects, prefers, likes, etc. But no. It's very common to hear someone say, "I have NO idea what to get her," and to see that person default to The Swiss Colony cheese log for everyone on the list.
But really I'm talking about something deeper.
The first year hubby and I were married, I discovered that my sister-in-law collects Garfield (anything and everything), and she expects at least one Garfield for Christmas. Her parents had decided that year that she was too old (at twenty-one) to collect such things and had stopped getting her a yearly Garfield. I took on this mantle, and every year I have managed to find one or more Garfield items she didn't have. Last year it was the Chia Garfield that I found at Walgreens. The year before, it was a box containing a bunch of stuff off of eBay, including Pez dispensers, erasers, file folders, stuffed animals, and so forth. I also know her favorite color is blue and she wears a size XL in most knits and she loves show tunes, Barbra Streisand, and The Three Tenors. So what does she know about me? Nothing, you'd think . . . every year, I get a generic gift from her. Now, that's OK. I don't NEED more material items. It's fine if I just get a DVD of a film she likes or what-have-you. But is it wrong of me to always think it would be nice if she had ANY idea what I am like or what I like? Or if anyone did? (It's not as though I keep these things secret. It's just that it goes in one ear and leaks out the other, and/or people just don't give a flaming flying frell, which simply means they're the other kind of person--the kind who doesn't remember or notice things about other people. Or at least about me, which could be reasonable on their parts.)
There are people who have everything, but they don't need another tie. Surely there's something that interests your dad/uncle or aunt/cousin. One time I came across gimme caps reading "RV Pilot" and "RV Co-Pilot." They were about the same price as the amaryllis-in-a-basket that hubby wanted to get for his aunt and uncle, and went over with MUCH more hilarity and fun. They were a retired RV lifestyle couple, and I know they went around showing people those caps. But you don't have to limit yourself to gag gifts for your family and friends. Just use some imagination. How about a jigsaw puzzle of some scene that they've visited on vacation?
We have many used book stores around here. A good number of the books, hardcover or softcover, look as if they've never been read. If you know what your friend or relative likes to read (mysteries, fantasy/SF, cookbooks), you can go pick out a really great book off the clearance rack (many best-sellers end up on the clearance rack looking unread). Softcovers go for a dollar or two. Is that terrible of me to say that I'd buy someone a used book? Well . . . gnash away, because I have. Caveat: you DO have to flip carefully through the book to ensure there are no scribbles, inscriptions ("To Julie on her graduation"), underscores, marginal comments, et alia. And take out all those bookmarks and old receipts that are in some books. I often find books that are signed by the author turned in at Half Price Books here . . . an autographed copy apparently isn't that valuable. What kills me is when I run across one that's inscribed, "To Ernie on his 15th birthday from Grandma--Wishing you many hours of pleasure reading," or whatever. I could never turn in a book my grandmother had written to me in . . . and the alternative (that Ernie has joined his Gramma on the Other Side) is also grim. But usually you don't see too many of those. Look for books that seem virtually untouched. They're there.
Apparently I even *look like* a good gifter. I can be standing in a store and someone will turn to me (I must look quite approachable, and they're guessing right when they guess that I'll be someone who can give advice on just about any topic and boss them around when they need it--*grin*. Whether that advice is useful or not is a different matter) and ask, "Do you think this would be good for a twelve-year-old girl?" They're holding up a set of hair extensions or something. I quickly redirect them to the many and varied sets of toiletries and cosmetics packaged as "Hello Kitty" or "Heavy Metal Mama"--you know the stuff: it's a set of bath fizzies, shower gel, perfume, nail polish, nail clippers, barrettes, lip glosses you mix yourself, etc., all sharing the theme of the clueless cat or what-have-you, all packaged in a plastic carrying case for convenience. You just have to pick a cartoon character that the recipient likes, and you've personalized the gift. You can't really go far wrong there. And I don't even KNOW their kid. It doesn't seem that tough.
I don't expect everyone to be like me about this. But I can dream, can't I?
I know you can't spend a lot of money on each person, and I know you don't spend the year noticing things that would be perfect Christmas presents (though I often buy gifts in the spring and summer when they remind me of someone.) However, surely a gift-giver could come up with many options for a cheap ($1-$5) present based on a list of interests given by just about anybody. Ever heard of key chains, beanie babies, cute gadgets and mini games, yo-yos and mini Etch-a-Sketches (even for grown-ups), potholders in interesting designs, card decks of trivia questions, socks with Santas on them, tiny versions of the famous red Swingline stapler for a writer or office worker, a nutmeg grater for a cook, etc.? I see tons of stuff anytime I walk down the aisle at Wal-Mart. Cute little presents that are useful and not that expensive.
What do I mean? Even key chains can be found that are related to the person's interests. (I have piano-shaped key chains, one with a Pomeranian-shaped figurine, etc.) Beanie babies, ditto (get one that looks like the person's pet, and get an off brand or generic brand instead of the expensive ones.) As far as gadgets, try those "executive gifts." At Target this year, you can get a "headlight" for $5; it's a great guy gift. If you can't imagine what I mean, imagine a miner's hat without the hat. It's a budget version of the LED light ENTs sometimes wear on their foreheads secured by a strap and powered by AAA batteries. Guys use it when they don't have a free hand for the flashlight and need to work inside a computer or behind the TV stand to fix cables, etc.) You can get a Christmas ornament relating to almost any hobby. You might see something else that reminds you of that person or some inside private joke you have, such as a Tic-Tac-Toe set for a doodler. My point is that you can personalize a gift and it won't cost more than buying a generic thing such as a box of chocolate-covered cherries.
It does take some time, I suppose.
People also love gifts you make yourself. If you don't knit or sew and don't feel creative, you can still make a mix tape or CD. Bake 'em some cookies. Make a personalized Christmas ornament (get a box of clear or colored glass ball ornaments and Elmer's glue and some glitter; write the person's name on the ornament and dip it in the glitter, which works best if you spread it [the glitter] out in a clean cookie sheet first, and let dry; if you got a clear ornament, fill it with colorful confetti or curly ribbon curls. You can do "Chantal and Jerry/First Christmas Together 2005" or "Steffie's First Christmas 2005" ornaments, too.) Buy a cheap fake fur stocking and write his/her name on it in glitter the same way, and then stuff it with an orange, a gag gift like a jump rope, a little gift book, or whatever. I mean, there are options other than one of those cologne gift sets.
When my niece and nephew were young, we bought a dozen Little Golden Books and a package of blank cassettes at the dollar store. Then hubby and I both recorded a couple of the books, reading them aloud in a quiet room. When it's time to turn the page, you can ring a little bell or hit a spoon gently against a crystal glass (explain this at the beginning of the tape). If you are old enough to remember all those filmstrips in school, you know what I'm talking about. I have also been known to make coloring books for young children. You just take clip art that's outline-only (nothing TOO complex) and print it out. Or use any art rubber stamps you have (many of which are simple outlines) and make a few pages' worth of pictures. Then staple the pages together and add a box of crayons for a complete gift. (Back-to-school sales are great for $1 boxes of crayons.)
What's the point? I don't know. Just that I can't help feeling a little bit bad knowing that I am never in anyone's thoughts during the year. I get an awful lot of those cologne sets and boxes of chocolate-covered cherries. (We also recycle all fruitcakes. Been swappin' one for years.)
I ended up getting the doctor a "headlight" and each of his three young children a "jungle beanie" (like a beanie baby, but $1 at Target on sale) stuffed inside a tin pail (also on sale for $1 at Target) decorated with Santa and the reindeer. I hung three candy canes of various flavors/colors on the side of the pail and put on a curly ribbon. That didn't cost much or take much time. But it's sure to thrill a child to get a gift like that out of nowhere. And it didn't really "cost" me that much.
I'm working on a mix CD for certain other people in my life. Trying to decide which of my piano performances would bore them the least. *grin*
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no subject
Date: 2005-12-15 04:02 am (UTC)No. But I think a lot of people do - sort of - keep sides of themselves secret - not necessarily on purpose, just that they don't talk about the interests they consider more quirky, for fear of boring people. Even quite close people.
I think, by now, my boyfriend, dear in every possible way, tunes out slightly if I start talking about literature which he does not read, which encompasses pretty much all of fantasy or SF. I'd love it if he has taken in the hints that I'd really like the MirrorMask illustrated book, but I bet he hasn't. In fact, I think I know what I'm getting from him, and that isn't it.
I love buying presents for other people, but I do find it slightly difficult to find good boy presents. If they didn't buy CDs the minute they heard about them, it would be easier.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-19 04:05 am (UTC)If they wouldn't buy computer games and CDs and what-have-you as soon as they decided they wanted them . . . especially in November . . . it would be simpler. And you can't give them a personalized tree ornament. They get too disappointed that it's not a mobile GPS unit or a Blackberry.
*sigh*
no subject
Date: 2005-12-19 05:00 am (UTC)As for my bro... I'm just going on the fact that our senses of humour are quite similar, and buying him a book that made me cry with laughter. (And I now know that he is giving me the MirrorMask book. What a star. Actually, he has a very good record of appropriate gift-giving.)
no subject
Date: 2005-12-18 10:15 pm (UTC)Other than that, buying for him was an absolute ordeal.
no subject
Date: 2005-12-19 04:17 am (UTC)Why didn't you give him a mix tape or a personalized tree ornament? Wouldn't matter what, because he didn't like anything! (GRIN) Another tie is always an answer. WallyWorld has ties now for really cheap!
This frustrates me--people without interests, I mean. What do they DO all day? What do they think about? Even a salesman who professes to know nothing but how to sell used cars likes to go fishing and would appreciate a "fish caller" or a new fish hook for his hat, surely. Do they go to church? Bible cover. Are they balding? Gimme-cap with smart remark on it. *grin* Something with the logo of wherever they've worked. Passes/tickets for the movies. A restaurant gift certificate. Those gift cards are good nowadays. Surely people go to WallyWorld.
I get upset with hubby because he claims to have no interests other than building himself another PC or playing computer games. I tell him that makes his focus too narrow, and it's going to mean his brain stops growing and turns in on itself. I fear it already has! But he says he doesn't want to develop any hobbies other than that one. *aarghh**
Mostly I wrote that entry because I'm frustrated that my family has no idea what I like--or you'd think that from the weird gifts I get. I have collected unicorns and Pegasi from childhood, but Mama and Don think I have too many of those, so they don't buy them. However, the rest of the family has NO CLUE, although they SEE the stuff in the curio cabinet. Or they'll think I mean the Lisa Frank psychedelic kids' school supplies (I have enough of those already). What I mean is that if you knew about this interest, then if you saw a snowglobe with a unicorn, you might consider that a good gift. But they reach instead for the generic box of perfume (and I can't wear that stuff because I have asthma and I couldn't go around Mama and my aunt, who have COPD and asthma, wearing that stinky stuff). They're paying as much for that as they would for something with a unicorn theme, but it's more trouble to remember about the unicorn, or about my interest in chess, or that I like frogs, or whatever. Or they get a gigantic, enormous box of salted peanuts (containing a handful of peanuts and a ton of air or filler) that we don't really eat. But at least we can put the peanuts out for New Year's open house! Still, it just frustrates me that more people are not more observant. I guess I'm talking about my sister-in-law and others who have known me for 20 years but really don't know anything about me. There are people who still don't know that I play the piano . . . they've seen the piano in the house and think it's just for show. It's because there's never an opportunity to play in front of them, of course, and I don't start conversations about it, except here, where I have a pitiful captive audience who has to read about whatever I want them to. Bwaa-ha-ha!
I suppose writers, who are born to sit in the corner observing the passing circus and taking notes, are just more inclined to know things about the people they know than non-writers/extroverts. . . .